PENNY WISE

So here’s the deal. Our economy is struggling and retailers are competing for our business. Many offer “price protection” and incentives (deferred payments, no interest, stocking stuffers.) My 62” hi-def went on the fritz the day before the NFL Championships. That was unacceptable; I will be watching the playoffs!

I go to Costco, score an amazing Sony 52” LED, ($1300) set it up and marvel at its picture quality. It is truly splendid…and somewhat…small. Hmmm. Once again, size matters. I return the Sony to Costco and visit Best Buy. They have a new Samsung 55” LED/LCD for $2200 plus tax. They will set it up AND remove my 62” Mitsubishi. But I ask my sales woman, “Is there a reason for me to buy this today? I love the picture…but Presidents Day is coming up and I know there will be sales.” “No worries”, she tells me, “Best Buy will match any legitimate offer.” “OK, where do I sign?”

The Samsung is delivered and set up, the fit is great and I am a happy camper. Last weekend, stores touted their President’s Day sales. Best Buy is now offering a new Blu-Ray DVD in addition to my Samsung, for $2200. Pauls Big Screen is offering my Samsung and a Blu-Ray DVD for $1995! And Paul Crane’s is offering my Samsung, delivery and removal for $1997…AND NO SALES TAX!

Suddenly I have options. I re-visit Best Buy and they graciously offer to throw in a very hi-end DVD player to mollify me. I thank them and visit Paul Cranes. It’s Monday, Feb 15th, the last day of their sale. They have a few in stock, my total is $2022. I buy it.

Yesterday, the delivery men’s paths crossed. Paul Crane’s people delivered my new Samsung; Best Buy’s people picked up my almost new Samsung and I have saved $400. Now that’s clearly a consumer triumph. But I do have considerations about the morality of what I did. I was surely in the clear, legally…but Americans didn’t make the TV’s, money was spent and re-credited, boxes unpacked and repacked and a lot of shlepping was involved, with little added to our GNP.

So am I a wise shopper…or a prick with an Amex?

21 Feb 2010

HARD TIMES

I’m walking thru Ralph’s or CVS recently. Their system is playing a song from my youth, and I’m humming along, pushing my cart thru the aisles…now mouthing the lyrics as I push my cart –

And then I stop, stock still
(presciently near the ice cream displays;)
suddenly aware of what I am both singing- and supporting…

“Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me…”

WHAAAA????

(And do you know, on THAT day, I was hearing “…give me the biggest “corporal punishment” I ever had…” ;)

But still. I wonder what that song said to us all in 1962. Did it express an obsolete sexual mindset…or an eternal TRUTH…or encouragement – young men, be physically persistent in your courtship? (Girls LIKE that;)

I think, all the above.

So we now exist in a culture/society that affirms the intrinsic right of women, in ALL matters sexual.
This was always a TRUTH…but it is now, LAW.

So let me get this straight. Women desire to be competed for, won, dominated. And this behavior will assure them that they are desired. And thereful, desirable. Hmmm.

Two likely outcomes.

1) Your ardor will win your heart’s desire. (She really wanted you.)
2) Your ardor will result in a restraining order…(if you’re lucky;)

I’ve been impatient of late with the newest cultural trend: “It’s hard out here for a White Man.” Nigger, please. But I am beginning to feel you….feel your angst, your dislocation, your “Weltanschauung”.

Hey, the Game changed. Well, not really. Human sexuality will resist all passing trends; we are and will continue to be, evolving animals. But the rules for our board game have been going thru some serious permutations of late. For your daughters, mothers, sisters, you might feel gratitude for the leveling of the playing field. But you may have also noticed that your own personal wiring is now seriously suspect and out of warranty. Good luck to you.

Vie for a woman who finds you desirable…and your outcome is 50-50. But your downside is limited.

Vie for a woman who doesn’t find you desirable…maybe embarrassment, maybe legal tsuris, maybe victimization.

Payback is a mutha…

15 Feb 2010