A couple years ago, I did something that was dishonorable. Today I did what I could, to make amends. A young and promising artist had offered me a lead role in her film project. I accepted. Her story was complicated science fiction, involving gods and humans. I had a million questions…some were answered, others not.
I struggled with my text. It wasn’t that considerable but I’d never before encountered such difficulty, owning my words.
We began to film, it did not go well. I spoke critically to her and in front of her crew. Her filming process was not helpful to me; regardless, my job is to own my text…and I couldn’t. We wrapped with the opening scene undone. Thereafter followed email exchanges, increasingly more hostile.
Had I been more self-critical, I might have realized that something had perhaps changed for me, mentally…and memorization had just become more difficult. Some of us read sign better than others.
Today I wrote to ask her forgiveness. I can hope…
Few years back, I had an encounter with a fellow actor during a production. We’d never before exchanged a single cross word. He made a few sudden demands pre -show that I thought were selfish, unprofessional and disrespectful to me. We soldiered on, the run was good. And I never spoke a single word to this actor thruout the whole run – except when on stage. That was strange…but for me, trust is a core fundamental.
Last year this actor contacted me. Explained he’d been living in a difficult personal reality. I understood…and him copping to that was really all I needed to just let it go.
We are all just flesh and blood. But we can all clean up the shit we generate along the way. That still has honor.
I give thanks for friends that accept me as I am, nowdays. Childlike, somewhat fragile, rather less capable but nonetheless, still desiring to participate. Life does not vamp, Life does not mark time. As I engage my own life challenges, I remain willing to sally forth, swallowing my pride that I cannot entirely be who my friends have long known me to be. Yet I am…such as I am. Hard to say how Tucker will emerge from this chrysalis of surgical restoration. Can’t make any promises. Won’t write any checks I can’t cover.
Regardless, know that I am grateful for all generosity received, during this transition.
You didn’t mind that he was marginally articulate, that he struggled to express himself in complete sentences.
You didn’t mind that he was profane and tasteless, that he was a misogynist, a bully.
You didn’t mind that he was a willful, pathological liar, happy to dissemble and foment strife.
You didn’t mind that he was willfully uninformed, that he celebrated ignorance, his and that of others.
You didn’t mind that he was without scruples, integrity, decency. His word means nothing.
You didn’t mind that he colluded with our enemies, that he dishonored our intelligence community.
You didn’t mind that he presided over the least accomplished congress in modern history.
So why are some suddenly concerned when he blurts out incendiary threats against N. Korea?
Can ANYTHING done during his presidency inspire your confidence in his leadership?
Like an ice shelf breaking away from the Antarctic, our republic is slowly separating from the granite on which it was established. Now set adrift, consigned to melt away in the seas of time. All good things come to an end. Self-governance is among the most challenging of political realities. The oligarchs have the bit in their teeth and are galloping into the feudal realities we so enjoy watching in GOT. God bless the child that’s got his own…