“Times that try the souls of men.”  A classic description. I can only remember this time around the sun.  My past lives may be enjoying ironic smiles, however.  “The fuck did you expect?”  😉

My discontent is no longer seasonal…it is now continual.  I despise our CIC, our administration, the ongoing dismantling of our democracy.  More than ever before in my lifetime, America exists as a means to benefit those connected with our economic elite, at the expense of The People.  Nothing new here, that has been so throughout the history of Man.  Perhaps for me to expect – or hope for anything other than that was childish. Mea culpa.  😉

I’ve met our President.  Actually, the only president in my lifetime that I’ve met in person.  And the few minutes we spend along in conversation were sufficient for me to validate my perception of this man.  He is whom I’d already believed him to be.  I won’t attempt to describe our encounter here.  If ever we meet in person, simply ask me what was unique about his persona.  And I’ll recreate our physical interaction for you.  And we can then express our mutual disgust.

No. I write tonite about something far more troubling to me.  I’ve tried to find an analogy to express my distress.  Often an apt analogy is useful to engage a reality too appalling to directly engage.  And I came up with this:

Imagine your marriage or relationship; your connection entirely successful, fulfilling, affirming.  What if there existed a separate intimate connection for one of you…and you somehow learned of this?  Would this threaten your foundation?  Could you incorporate this knowledge into your reality and successfully continue?  Would this be a deal breaker and thus lead to a dissolution of your family?  Some of us have engaged such a contretemps…some of us have survived such a contretemps…some of us have foundered on such a contretemps.

WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW?  Or would you prefer to exist without such certainty? I won’t judge you, I’m just curious about how we humans are wired.

I posed that as an analogy, boys and girls.  😉  Back now to Reality.  Yeah, my president and his administration appalls – just fucking APPALLS my sensibilities; perhaps yours as well.  But that is not the point.

THE POINT is that this nimrod managed to get elected.  However he got here, enough American voters gave him Their Voice.  THAT IS MY ISSUE, folks.  My America…Dear God.  MY?  Yeah, an illusion worthy of dismissal.  I live in a nation, many of whose citizens hold me in contempt as The Other.  As INFERIOR.

At 74, to realize how little my personal worth is valued by my fellow citizens –essentially based upon my race – is dispiriting, demoralizing.  I have never before, in my life felt less proud to be an American. Not ever.  So now you know why I feel so despondent tonite.   I know that many ethnicities exist across the world with adversity; Hindus, Moslems, Jews, Christians…

Perhaps I’m just tired tonite.  But I am surely tired…of US. Of our enduring, fundamental, underlying bigotry. Our UNDERTOAD.

What did Tracy sing?  Gimme some kind of reason..?  Please do.


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